Crying is such a cathartic experience and it has somehow gotten stuck with this shameful connotation, probably because it’s so gendered. We’re all shoved into this idea (via our sexist ass world) that crying is a no-no because it’s:
- weak because it’s not manly!
- a thing only girls do
- did I mention girls are bad or something?
When we say it outright, the idea that only girls can cry because women are the emotional sex is obviously ridiculous — everybody has feelings, and one of the ways the patriarchy hurts men is by trying to squish them into little emotionless buff monsters. I’m not okay with it; everybody can and should cry as much as they need to. (Dammit!)
For a long time I did my best not to cry at all, not even really knowing why I felt like it wasn’t okay. We are supposed to be ashamed of crying, to hide, to feel bad that we’re not pretty when we cry, because heaven forbid we don’t look good for men for a single second. However, I’ve entered into a point in my life where I have no patience for those shenanigans, and while I’m not really any sadder than before, I cry a whole lot more.
So in no particular order, here are my crying tips. (AKA the lessons I’ve learned about crying and how to use it to make you feel better.)
- CRY INTO YOUR JOURNAL As I’ve mentioned like five times, I’m pretty much the unofficial queen of journaling. I am rounding my tenth volume, and even though the literal point of it is to ~feel~ your ~feelings~ it took me a while to truly appreciate the journal cry in all its glory.
Basically with the journal cry, you start writing about [whatever is bothering you], and if you get sad enough you just start bawling into the pages as you write. It’s some high level sad girl shit, but after you’re done you’ll feel more relieved than a journaling session OR a crying session would make you on their own. It’s exponentially soothing, because you literally just lose it and let all the tension out.
- KEEP TISSUES AROUND My family doesn’t really keep tissues around the house, preferring instead to blow our noses into toilet paper/antique embroidered hankerchiefs, but I highly recommend investing in a personal stash of tissues for emergencies only. After 20 minutes of nose-blowing and mascara-running, you don’t want your nose to feel raw from getting scratched by subpar crying materials. No, your sad feels demand only the softest of throwaway paper products. Don’t be caught off-guard.
- CRY AT CUTE ANIMALS This is actually a true story — I completely, 100% bonafide lost it at an episode of Too Cute on Animal Planet and it was one of the best experiences of my sorta adult life. In fact, I’m still known for just how violently I react to cute animals, because I become completely incapacitated. (I had to unfollow all the cute animal accounts on twitter because they were interfering with my day-to-day life, which is saying something because that’s the point of twitter.)
- CRY AT MOVIES Crying at movies is especially great because it’s not your life you’re sad about. If you can get your cry in at a movie theater, even better, because you get to sob in the dark so everyone can hear how hard you are feeling that main character death. JUST LITERALLY GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO CRY AT MOVIES, IT WILL IMPROVE YOUR LIFE DRAMATICALLY. (I actually kinda feel cheated if I can’t cry at a sad movie, but to each their own I suppose.)
- GET OVER FEELING ASHAMED OF CRYING Crying is not bad! There are times when it’s inopportune, for sure, but the worst is when you really need to not cry but you can’t stop crying because you’re embarrassed about crying. Public Tears are going to happen in your life, but the last thing you need is to be thinking about how crying somehow makes you a worse person. (It doesn’t.) Jumping the hurdle of not thinking crying is bad will help you A) regain composure when you really need it, and B) help you really enjoy a crying session when you’ve got something you need to work out.
Tips on how to do this: be kind to crying people, let yourself cry when you need to, remind yourself that there’s nothing weak/bad about being emotional.
This all being said, there is one type of crying that I’m really not a fan of, and that is crying and eating. I love both of those things separately, but honestly on the few occasions I’ve started crying while eating it’s been a sign of a much larger issue than the normal sadness that’s inherent to being an empathetic/sensitive person.
PS: TELL ME ABOUT HOW YOU CRY/DO YOU LIKE CRYING/DO YOU THINK I’M FULL OF GARBAGE FOR LIKING CRYING??