Listen up team because this is important:I freakin’ love these plants. I primarily like them because seriously just look at them and also because these seem to be the most don’t-give-a-fuck of all plants. I mean I love orchids and roses and all that and they’re beautiful but my life is a little too intense to have some finicky high maintenance plant moping around.
I also think it’s kind of nifty that there are plants out there that have teeth of their own. (Venus flytraps are also cool for this reason.) I mean really, who fucks with cacti? Yeah, that’s right, I’ll wait.
Now I’m totally aware that cacti/succulents are having a bit of a moment and that we’re reaching that point of saturation where it’s starting to be cliche but can we all collectively get over ourselves and our bizarre egos that are like “oh shit somebody else likes this thing so it’s not cool.” This isn’t middle school, nobody care’s who liked the cacti band first. Just like what you like, you do you, fuck being cool.
Unless you’re a cactus because they’re, you guessed it, super cool. Here is an exclusive picture of a cactus right after it wakes up, before it puts makeup on:
Now, the big reason I’m so excited about cacti right now is because I’m on vacation in the ~American Southwest~ and these suckers are everywhere. Normally, the only cactus in my life is this one:
Other than fangirling over plants, this trip has primarily consisted of sketchy budget airline travel and trying to minimize my exposure to Fox News, which my grandparents watch 24/7.
I’m being positive, though, because I’m done with finals and off of work for the week and the weather is super nice and I’ve been having fresh fruit for breakfast so like…appreciating the little things. Like cacti.
Anyway, I hope you’re all enjoying the holiday spirit, or avoiding the holiday spirit, whichever works for you. (The latter is what I normally do because christmas makes me inexplicably, crushingly sad.)