not to be fake deep
but it all changed so damn fast.
reflect or move on?



  • I abandoned my project 365 halfway through the year, but it was actually a great experience. (It’s a really nice document of that part of my life and I think it helped push me to experiment more with taking pictures.)
  • I did a for-credit internship with [company name redacted so I can make dick jokes online w/o career repercussions] from June through the end of December. This included taking the fall 2015 semester off from schoolwork, except for one class in the evenings (and that class thoroughly kicked my ass). Getting into doing work related to civil engineering has basically been a goal of mine since I started working on my degree, so it was really exciting to get the job.
  • I moved out of my parents’ house into an apartment with Tré and Amanda! And then got entangled into a polyamorous relationship with them! We adopted another cat! We moved into a 100+ year old house with a bunch of our friends, and according to the owner of the house, a ghost! Our roomates adopted a cat (more on that here), so we basically got yet another cat. (SPOOKY HOUSE BODY COUNT: 6 HUMANS, 5 CATS)
  • I spent pretty much the entire month of July puking my fucking guts out, first from an upper respiratory infection (maybe?) and then, embarrassingly, horrible allergies that I thought were another round of being germsick. (In like, five years it’s gonna be hilarious how long I was fucked up about allergies but it took me so long to get back to feeling good after I basically couldn’t keep food down for a month so it’s not funny yet.)
  • A BUNCH OF MINI ADVENTURES, INCLUDING: concerts (#1 & #2), swimming at this place called pine lake, visiting black pine animal sanctuary, getting a taste of urban exploration (and unfortunately, also a taste of almost getting caught), attending the fort wayne dance collective’s super cool annual fundraiser (every year they create an interactive show within some community location, and it’s always really awesome), seeing my first legit rocky horror screening, turning 20, and cutting all my hair off




    • Make a new zine every 6-8 weeks for my etsy shop. (My first volume is very close to being done, and I’m so excited to show it off!)
    • Give the project 365 photography goal another shot. (Get it??)
    • Buckle down and keep my GPA at a 3.5+.
    • I’m set up to do a summer internship with the company I worked with this year. It’s an actual engineering design internship (rather than what I’ve been doing as a detailer, which is like 3D building modeling and creating drawings for the construction company), so basically my goal is to learn as much as possible and try to make the most out of it as an academic/career opportunity.
    • I know I know I know this is a boring goal but: get back into the habit of exercising once (or twice??) a week.This is a really emotionally loaded goal for me, firstly because I’m lazy and don’t like breathing heavily, but also because there’s all this baggage re: diet/exercise that links it to some really toxic ideas about women’s bodies that I try to avoid getting sucked into.
      I’m by no means Super Healthy but I do my best to eat fruits/veggies every day, drink water, and get decent sleep, because it genuinely does help me feel better and have more energy. So like, I want to be exercising so I can get stronger and more flexible and keep my body healthy, but when there’s all this shit that’s like pushing exercise out of this place of “your body is bad and you need to change it” it’s hard for me to keep out of my head, even though I don’t feel (or want to feel) that way.
      More and more, I’m finding out that ~healthy lifestyle stuff~ as like, a concept within self care has to be very individualized. Everybody has a different relationship with their body, and doing these things isn’t realistically going to be some linear process. My current routine is very comfortable, so I’m trying to keep all this in mind while I take baby steps back into the gym.
    • Re-incorporate studying tarot and private journaling back into my routine.

A lot of my goals this year are, honestly, trying to get back on track for things I had been working on in the past, which I have mixed feelings about. On one hand, it’d be cool to set my sights on Some Exciting New Adventure, but also oh god I am on so many adventures and I just want to feel not-awful and be able to take care of myself in a basic capacity.

best of luck to all of you in 2016, also,