diary of an amateur pinterest bitch

Source (Above): Just Baked: Downtown Bakery and Creamery’s Cinnamon Sugar Donut Muffins

My Attempt (Below):

muffin*****

General Tso's Tofu 1

Source (Above): Domestic Superhero: General Tso’s Tofu

My Attempt (Below):

tofu*****

bread 2Homemade Bread (I fucked up with the yeast so it didn’t rise very much but it was still tasty.)

*****

i am trying to improve my relationship with being alive

As I’ve mentioned, I am working on my mental health. Part of this, for me, is trying to piece together a healthy relationship with food, so I am trying out a bunch of recipes from the internet in an attempt to get excited about eating and feel empowered and blah blah blah.

There is a huge difference between eating to keep your body alive and eating for pleasure; our relationships with food are intensely personal, and our diets affect the rest of our lives in ways we don’t always think about, so it’s difficult to determine what balance is.

I’m not a person who forgets to eat, necessarily; I eat on routine, sticking to a schedule I’ve developed primarily so that I can avoid the side effects of not eating. I eat to keep my body moving, and it’s very much a chore, even though medication has helped my appetite. I feel like I am constantly eating or planning eating… it’s boring at best, uncomfortable and disgusting at worst, but at the times when I know I should eat and have no desire to, I force down a few unsalted crackers and a glass of water just so that my stomach doesn’t get irritated from being empty.

I’ve kind of just decided that if nothing feels naturally exciting, I’m going to try to make things happen on my own – which is how I ended up with this gallery of aesthetically lackluster first attempts. (They all tasted good, though.)

xoxo,
rori